Mnemosyne asked; I answer

Mnemosyne asked:

Tell us more about the ins and outs of the health insurance issue. You have to have coverage until you can get French coverage? How long will your mother have to wait until she can be on the French insurance program? Can she get coverage even if not a French citizen?

This all has to do with the visa process. For a non-EU citizen to get a long stay visa to live in France, there are a fair amount of hurdles to be jumped. One of them is health insurance. You need to show that you have health insurance that will cover 30,000€ of expenses, including repatriation costs if you get really sick.

Now, in Mom's case, she won't be needing repatriation (anymore than WE would), because she's moving her permanently. Since most regular U.S. insurance policies are not really set up for paying costs in foreign countries, you need to find one that will.

None of this is a problem for a relatively young person, but most of the policies we found are not available to be sold to anyone over the age of 75. I understand, because most people over that age do have some type of health issue. But, it was a real stumbling block for us. We were worried that the whole thing would be derailed if we couldn't resolve this one issue.

Once you have been resident in France for 3 months, however, you are eligible, indeed HAVE TO, register with the French health system (Securité Sociale), It is also called CPAM (Caisse Primaire de Assurance Maladie). The feels one pays for that are calculated on 8% of one's income. There is a bottom amount, below which you get coverage for free.

So, Mom will be covered by the French system after 3 months residence, which will be far less expensive, in her case, than anything she could get in the U.S.

I'll go over the other things one has to do to get a visa in later entries.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Thanks again

I really appreciate the support and sympathy that you have all been sending our way.

nemosyne said...

Much sympathy, and many hugs to you and the denizens of Possumworld. A lot of us are dealing with aging parents, and one of the unexpected blessings is that the internet so greatly expands our communications.

What a grand adventure for your mother. I bet she'll flower and expand happily in a new place. And the challenges of all the newness is probably the best thing for her heart and mind just now.

I agree that moving is really going to help her. Having to relearn French, meet new people, learn how things work in a new country, etc., are going to be an amazing experience for her. She's never left the U.S., except for a brief trip to Canada, so I'm excited for her!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, Randy. Are you an only child? Seems that I remember that. I believe she'll thrive being in a wholly new environment.

Hugs,

Pat

Thanks, Pat. I have a sister, but she lives on the other side of the country from Mom and isn't in great health herself, so really can't be any help, I'm afraid.

CMC said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Bob, Randy. I've been watching the sad process through the blog. As said by others, it will be good for her to get there and have a new phase of her life and with you there.

Cheryl

Thanks, Cheryl. I think we're all looking forward to this. I had really worried that I wouldn't get to see her again, because we had no plans to visit L.A., so this will be exciting for me as well.

We've started the visa process and have found a couple of things out. One of the most complicated bits to get was health insurance! You need to have a private insurance policy when you move to cover you until you are eligible for French Social Security. Well, that's fine if you're young, but an 83-year-old is another story! We almost thought we would be derailed before we even got started.

Luckily, we found a travel policy that seems pretty comprehensive, and doesn't have an age limit. It's not cheap, but since we don't need it for more than a few months, it's okay.

Ciao for now.

Randy

The Battle is Over

My stepfather, Bob, passed away yesterday afternoon after his brief but valiant battle with liver cancer.

Despite the anxious moments caused by shipping him out of the hospital to the hospice, in the end that turned out to have been a far easier experience for my mother. Strangely, after the major hoo-ha of demanding a $6000 cash deposit, they wound up taking no money in advance; probably because they realized that he was only going to be there for a very short time.

I'm very proud of my mother, who is dealing with this better than I would do in similar circumstances. She's also really looking forward to seeing us in September and moving here once we get things straightened out with visas, living accommodation, selling her house, etc. I think knowing that she's going to have "an adventure" is very helpful in this new chapter of her life.

I wish that I could have been there for Mom during all of this, but distance made that impossible. I do have to say that it is the only time since we moved that I felt handicapped being so far away. It is certainly something that needs to be thought about when moving from one country to another. We moved secure in the knowledge that Mom had Bob there to look after her. After all, he was about 13 years younger than she, so it seemed logical to imagine that she would pass away first. Clearly, the Universe had other plans.

This will be a good opportunity for us to rediscover each other, and for her to experience life in another country; something she has never done before.

Over the next few months, I expect to write more about the challenges of bringing an elderly parent to a distant land. I imagine we're all going to learn a lot in the process.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Die Faster, You Slacker!

Since my post of the other day, things with Bob have devolved.

His health deteriorated to the point where my mother had to call the paramedics (against his wishes, but she had no choice). Bob was taken to the local hospital. In the emergency room they hooked him up to an IV and catheterized him; a painful experience made worse by the fact that he had prostate surgery a few years ago and has a lot of scar tissue from that.

The cancer has now affected his mental state to the point that he's really incapable of understanding what is going on around him, can't eat, can't stand, etc. He is unable to be cared for at home by an 83-year-old woman, and needs hospitalization/hospice care.

Fine, we knew that. So, after a couple of days in the hospital they decided to transfer him out to a hospice and discontinue all treatment except for pain meds. This is where things get really "fun."

First, the catheter has caused a urinary tract infection. No more antibiotics, which makes sense given his condition. No more IV, which makes sense. No treatment for high blood pressure brought on by all the stress; again, this makes sense.

The hospital decided his condition isn't "bad enough" to warrant remaining in the hospital. Fine, except the hospice care is NOT covered by medicare/insurance. The transfer was taking place on the weekend, and the hospice is UNABLE to check my mother's credit on the weekend. Excuse me? I could buy a car on the weekend if I wanted to, but I can't put someone in a hospice? They wanted a CASH deposit of $6,000 to take Bob. If Mom couldn't come up with it, they were going to just send him home!!!!

This is a system that overflows with horror and cruelty. My 83-year-old mother is struggling with the impending loss of her husband, selling her home and possessions, a move to another country, her own health issues, and they reduced her to tears because they needed an effing deposit to take her dying husband!!!

It's probably a good thing I'm not there at the moment, because as mild a person as I am, I think I might have slapped someone. What is wrong with those people? Our dog was treated better than this when he was dying! It is monstrous and beyond belief.

The only "silver lining" is that the whole business has at last convinced Mom that she WILL come to France to live. Whether it is because the whole system sickens her, or because she realizes that she needs to be with family, I don't know. But I suppose I will hold onto this one, small, positive shred of news, as it's the only "good" I can see in the situation at the moment.

I know Bob would not have been treated this way in France. I don't even know how to explain it to my friends here, because they will think I've made it all up.

Ciao for now.

Randy