Die Faster, You Slacker!
Since my post of the other day, things with Bob have devolved.
His health deteriorated to the point where my mother had to call the paramedics (against his wishes, but she had no choice). Bob was taken to the local hospital. In the emergency room they hooked him up to an IV and catheterized him; a painful experience made worse by the fact that he had prostate surgery a few years ago and has a lot of scar tissue from that.
The cancer has now affected his mental state to the point that he's really incapable of understanding what is going on around him, can't eat, can't stand, etc. He is unable to be cared for at home by an 83-year-old woman, and needs hospitalization/hospice care.
Fine, we knew that. So, after a couple of days in the hospital they decided to transfer him out to a hospice and discontinue all treatment except for pain meds. This is where things get really "fun."
First, the catheter has caused a urinary tract infection. No more antibiotics, which makes sense given his condition. No more IV, which makes sense. No treatment for high blood pressure brought on by all the stress; again, this makes sense.
The hospital decided his condition isn't "bad enough" to warrant remaining in the hospital. Fine, except the hospice care is NOT covered by medicare/insurance. The transfer was taking place on the weekend, and the hospice is UNABLE to check my mother's credit on the weekend. Excuse me? I could buy a car on the weekend if I wanted to, but I can't put someone in a hospice? They wanted a CASH deposit of $6,000 to take Bob. If Mom couldn't come up with it, they were going to just send him home!!!!
This is a system that overflows with horror and cruelty. My 83-year-old mother is struggling with the impending loss of her husband, selling her home and possessions, a move to another country, her own health issues, and they reduced her to tears because they needed an effing deposit to take her dying husband!!!
It's probably a good thing I'm not there at the moment, because as mild a person as I am, I think I might have slapped someone. What is wrong with those people? Our dog was treated better than this when he was dying! It is monstrous and beyond belief.
The only "silver lining" is that the whole business has at last convinced Mom that she WILL come to France to live. Whether it is because the whole system sickens her, or because she realizes that she needs to be with family, I don't know. But I suppose I will hold onto this one, small, positive shred of news, as it's the only "good" I can see in the situation at the moment.
I know Bob would not have been treated this way in France. I don't even know how to explain it to my friends here, because they will think I've made it all up.
Ciao for now.
Randy
His health deteriorated to the point where my mother had to call the paramedics (against his wishes, but she had no choice). Bob was taken to the local hospital. In the emergency room they hooked him up to an IV and catheterized him; a painful experience made worse by the fact that he had prostate surgery a few years ago and has a lot of scar tissue from that.
The cancer has now affected his mental state to the point that he's really incapable of understanding what is going on around him, can't eat, can't stand, etc. He is unable to be cared for at home by an 83-year-old woman, and needs hospitalization/hospice care.
Fine, we knew that. So, after a couple of days in the hospital they decided to transfer him out to a hospice and discontinue all treatment except for pain meds. This is where things get really "fun."
First, the catheter has caused a urinary tract infection. No more antibiotics, which makes sense given his condition. No more IV, which makes sense. No treatment for high blood pressure brought on by all the stress; again, this makes sense.
The hospital decided his condition isn't "bad enough" to warrant remaining in the hospital. Fine, except the hospice care is NOT covered by medicare/insurance. The transfer was taking place on the weekend, and the hospice is UNABLE to check my mother's credit on the weekend. Excuse me? I could buy a car on the weekend if I wanted to, but I can't put someone in a hospice? They wanted a CASH deposit of $6,000 to take Bob. If Mom couldn't come up with it, they were going to just send him home!!!!
This is a system that overflows with horror and cruelty. My 83-year-old mother is struggling with the impending loss of her husband, selling her home and possessions, a move to another country, her own health issues, and they reduced her to tears because they needed an effing deposit to take her dying husband!!!
It's probably a good thing I'm not there at the moment, because as mild a person as I am, I think I might have slapped someone. What is wrong with those people? Our dog was treated better than this when he was dying! It is monstrous and beyond belief.
The only "silver lining" is that the whole business has at last convinced Mom that she WILL come to France to live. Whether it is because the whole system sickens her, or because she realizes that she needs to be with family, I don't know. But I suppose I will hold onto this one, small, positive shred of news, as it's the only "good" I can see in the situation at the moment.
I know Bob would not have been treated this way in France. I don't even know how to explain it to my friends here, because they will think I've made it all up.
Ciao for now.
Randy
3 Comments:
Reading your comments on Bob brings back the rage of trying to deal with the U.S. system, which is unable/unwilling to deal with anything or person it can't quantify.
And I remember an American I met some years back who lived in Australia--they might return to the U.S., she said, but they would retire to Australia because "you can't afford to be old in this country." That was more than 10 years ago.
Many best wishes and virtual hugs to all the Possum relatives; I am holding you in my thoughts.
By Mnemosyne, At 8:43 PM
So sorry you're dealing with this!
And I fear we'll be dealing with something similar, as Emma's dad is very frail.
At the risk of sounding heartless, I hope I'll recognize what's happening to me in time to go for a long walk in the woods when I'm close to my end. But it doesn't seem to work that way.
By Will Shetterly, At 11:00 PM
Thanks for the support. It is just so horrible to see how the system treats people when they are most in need. I think my mother was more shocked than I was, to be honest, because she actually believed in it, whereas I didn't...
Randy
By Randy, At 2:10 PM
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