Possumworld

Autumn and stuff

2007-10-11T18:20:00.000+02:00

My favorite time of year is definitely here. You can smell wood smoke in the evening air, although I still don't think it has been anywhere near cold enough to need heat or fireplace. But my neighbors don't share that feeling and are getting in the winter oil and wood supplies.

We're holding off on filling the fuel tank for a bit, as we've had an expensive few weeks. I DID change my stove for an electric oven and induction top. I love it and regret not having done it sooner. I really, really hated schlepping those gas bottles!

But, no sooner had we decided that we would go ahead and do that but than my computer died following our trip to L.A. Talk about a necessary but unexpected expense.

Then, yesterday, the power went off. Now, it was raining, and it has been raining a lot this week, so my first thought was that a tower was hit or flooded out or something. But when I looked across the street I saw that the neighbors had lights. Clearly, the problem was here.

Perhaps it was the new stove. It had, strangely, been delivered without an electrical cord, and our electrician, Stephan had not realized it was induction, so he brought the wrong cord. Even though the stove wasn't on, I thought I would unplug it, just in case. I flipped the breaker switch and POOF the power went out again. Not the stove then.

The only other thing that was operating that could have been responsible was the dishwasher. I turned that off and flipped the breaker. This time the power stayed on. Again, we thought it might have been caused by the stove (although I really couldn't see how). Of course, when water started pouring out of the dishwasher, I realized that was our problem.

Luckily, super-plumber, Christian Drouin was able to come over quickly. After about 2 hours taking everything apart, we realized that the pump had blown. Now the dishwasher is just 2 years old. At first, we thought it was out of warranty, but amazingly, we seem to have actually purchased an extended warranty for it. We never do that, so it was quite a surprise.

Now we need to see if we will have a fight on our hands, or if they'll actually repair it for free. In the meantime, I actually find I don't mind washing dishes by hand. There must be something wrong with me.

Maybe it does have to do with the season. Chores like reorganizing the kitchen, cooking, doing dishes, etc., all seem very cozy and pleasant right now.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Marking time

2007-10-07T15:45:00.000+02:00

In a way, that's what it feels like at the moment, because we have absolutely no idea of when Mom will get word that her visa has arrived and we'll have to make arrangements to head back to L.A. It's so hard to make any plans. Friends Margaret and Peter have offered to meet us at the airport in Toulouse when we get back, because with the three of us and all of Mom's luggage Beanie will not be sufficient. But will we be coming back when they are on their trip? Who knows. Limbo.

Still, we do what we can. I'm desperately trying to finish the second draft of our new book, EDGAR ALAN POE ON MARS so it can be published in December as planned. And, the big Kahuna is getting Mom's house-to-be ready for her as soon as possible.

We made contact with the owner last week and we seem to have agreed to a deal, now we need for the sale of Mom's house in L.A. to close so we can go to the Notaire here and close the deal on the new place. Lots of juggling. In the meantime, we've started having our friendly neighborhood artisans come in to do estimates and give us their suggestions for the best, easiest, fastest and most affordable way to do what needs to be done.

This won't be a huge apartment, but I think it will be perfectly cozy for one person, and the fact that it's all ground level is a huge bonus. Places like that are gold in a village like this one, as almost everyplace has stairs of one kind or another. Both JM and I are very nervous about Mom living in our house until her place is ready, as between stairs and dogs it's a bit of a deathtrap! We've told her that we want her to let us know when she's going to change rooms so that one or the other of us can accompany her on the stairs and run canine interferance.

One thing about doing the work on the new place is that I think we've learned a lot over the years. And, there's the fact that we won't be living in it while the work is going on, so that will be much nicer as well. Still, it's only two doors away, so we're there for consultation when the guys need us. I can't wait to see it when it's done, because I think it has great potential,

I didn't go upstairs to look at the rest of the property again, although will probably do that today or tomorrow. It's really a very nice space and part of me thinks it would be fun to sell our house and fix that one up for us to live in upstairs while Mom lives downstairs. But we have gotten our house perfectly set up, so I know that's impractical and silly...

Ciao for now.

Randy

Life Its Ownself

2007-10-03T14:26:00.000+02:00

To borrow a favorite quote from my sweet friend, Raven, that is exactly what has gotten in the way of my posting for over a week.

We HAVE been back from L.A. since late Friday, but I can't believe how much there has been to do which has interfered with my posting here. The first thing, before I go into details about our L.A. visit, was the discovery on our return that my hideous Toshiba had decided to die a painful death. My guess is that it had been getting ready to go for quite a while, but that using it constantly had kept the parts warm and operational. Once it was turned off and cooled down, I think there might have been some condensation inside that just fried the works once I rebooted.

So, almost first thing on Saturday we had to drive out to buy a new 'puter. I am not unhappy, since the Toshiba had been a problem from day one, but it was an unexpected expense and complication. And, I had a bit of trouble configuring Vista to work properly with our Livebox. But all now seems well, so fingers are crossed that I'm good to go.

Now for the report:

Going back to L.A. was a totally weird experience in many ways. First, it was odd flying in that direction and realizing that we were not going home. It certainly no longer felt like home.

The flight from Toulouse to Paris to L.A. was very long and made longer by the horrendous connection at CDG. The Air France terminal seems to be under permanent construction status and transferring from Terminal 2E to 2F is practically a nightmare. You have to go back through security, you are walking miles and also taking a weird system of people mover buses that is less than efficient, and generally it is not a pleasant experience. We JUST made our connections on both legs and we realized that there is no way Mom will be able to make it without a wheelchair. Anyone doing this flight: be forewarned.

Air France now flies out of the Virgin terminal at LAX. Perhaps because this is a smaller, less crowded terminal, going through customs and immigration there was much less painful than it has been in the past. Immigration officials were actually nice to us, which was very surprising and unusual, based on past experience. We were out of the airport in record time and on our way to our rental car.

The first night we had American diner food at Dinah's near the airport with good friends Diane and Evan. It was fun, but exhaustion hit by 8:00 and we had to troll back to the hotel and our bed as rapidly as possible. We were, of course, awake at 3:00 and decided to get up, get dressed and hit the road. We drove to Santa Monica Blvd (not too far out of our way) and had a delicious, but expensive breakfast at another old haunt, Delores's Restaurant. Very fun. VERY L.A. with conversations that you do not hear in Chalabre. Then, it was off to Hemet.

Considering the hour, we were much surprised by how much traffic we encountered, but we still made good time and were at Mom's by 5:30. I have to admit that I was a little surprised when I saw her, because I still have a different picture of her in my head than how she is now. I realized right away that we are doing the right thing in bringing her here. She really cannot live on her own and needs to be with family.

That day, Friday, turned out to be quite a day. We had heard from the VISA office at the L.A. consulate right before we left. They had made us an appointment for Friday afternoon, and frankly, we couldn't believe our good fortune. We found out that our Deputé and his wonderful assistant had been responsible for that, and we are eternally grateful.

However, what that meant was that we needed to get Mom, get her paperwork in order and drive BACK to LA by 2pm. It's 200km each way and I was still jetlagged.

We were lucky, because the 21st was Yom Kippur, which DOES have an impact (positive) on LA traffic. It still was heavy, but not as horrible as it would have been otherwise, that is until we had to return home to Hemet, my THIRD trip of the day.

Still, we made it and understood why the consulate wasn't taking appointments. They were a construction site, without even a proper phone system or fax machine. It was very, very kind of them to have seen us, and took a lot of time and effort on our behalf. The opinion was that Mom's file was in great order and she should have her VISA in anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months, but that depends on Paris now.

We spent the rest of the afternoon with Diane and Evan, which was probably a mistake because it meant driving home in the dark and rain. I have no idea how I made it, because by then I was dead on my feet. JM fell into an almost comatose sleep and still doesn't remember how he got to bed.

The rest of the visit with Mom was a hectic time of shopping for her (and me), getting as much organized for her move as possible. Again, I think she's doing amazingly well considering what she's been through, but she is just not capable of living on her own and needs to be with us as soon as possible. At this point, I'm hoping it will be before Thanksgiving.

Our original thought had been to spend Tuesday in LA, then head back to Hemet on Wednesday for a day, then back to the airport on Thursday, but our FOURTH trip in LA traffic convinced us otherwise. I do not understand how people cope with that commute every single day. There were already traffic jams at 4 am! What a horrible nightmare. Both of us were seriously pining for our little corner of paradise, I can tell you.

Tuesday was a real LA day, with us having a business lunch at Universal Studios' commissary. It felt so odd being back in that world after 3 years here in the Possum Kingdom. Again, it was fun for a visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Dinner was with friends Marv, Noel, Terry, Paula and Evan. That was very, very nice, because you realize what you miss when you move is friends, not places. Speaking of places, we went back to visit our old house and found that the neighborhood looks a bit sad and tired. Our house is being used as a rental and it looks very unloved. JM, in particular, was really upset about that, because he wanted someone to love that house as much as we had.

Our final full day in town was probably our most nostalgic day as well. We spent the day on the Hollywood Riviera, the very first place we lived in LA. Although the shops and restaurants are more upscale than they once were, the overall ambiance hasn't changed all that much and we remembered how happy we had been there. We went to the Wayfarer's Chapel and enjoyed that, but were saddened to see how much new building (ugly building) is going on in the area. Again, no regrets about leaving.

When we finally got home to our wonderful village, we really felt as if we'd been gone for months and not just a week. We know we're going to have to do it all again as soon as the VISA comes through, but it is good to be back, good to have the dogs, good be in our nest and good to realize that we made the 100% best choice for a good life that we could have made.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Here in L.A.

2007-09-24T16:26:00.000+02:00

Just a quick note to say that we ARE here in L.A. and that things have been going well with moving Mom; I just haven't had a lot of computer time to write about things.

I will say that we've had some amazing luck with the consulate and visa process and it looks like we'll be able to make the move before Turkey Day.

I have written a large entry that I'll post here as soon as I can get a bit more time (maybe later today).

Ciao for now
Randy

A Headless Chicken

2007-09-14T15:06:00.000+02:00

That's what I'm feeling like these days. I keep running around and like a chicken without a head and nothing ever gets finished.

There is so much to do before heading out to L.A. to see Mom you'd think we're going on safari. It seems way more complicated than when we used to visit France from over there. I suppose part of it is knowing we're dealing with the visa/moving issue. But I'm also racing to finish our new novel "Edgar Allan Poe on Mars," which we want to have out at the end of the year. I also have a short story for the "Shadowmen" short story anthology for early next year and all the other household tasks that don't stop just because you don't have time to do them.

We still have no idea of what we're going to do about Mom's visa. Friends Diane and Evan did manage to get the Consulate on the phone this week. However, the answer was more than unhelpful and leaves us as much in the dark as we were before. We may wind up on their doorstep Friday morning to try and get some kind of rational answer.

The only really hopeful thing is that our local Deputy (the equivalent of a Congressman) called us this week. JM had written to ask for a letter of support for Mom's file, figuring that it couldn't hurt and might help. Well, M. Dupree has taken an interest in our case and is going to try to intervene on our behalf. Perhaps that will force the issue and at least get us an interview. Only time will tell.

Adding to all of this is the fact that JM's dad has been having his own health problems for the last few weeks. He had bladder cancer 7 years ago, and when they removed his bladder, there were post-op complications which meant a second surgery. That surgery left him a mess inside and he has been suffering from a massive hernia ever since. No one has wanted to operate on it because it was going to be a very complicated and risky surgery.

We've always known that one day there would be a problem. With classic bad timing, that one day is now. He's been in and out of the hospital for the last month, and finally they did surgery on him today. We're still waiting to hear from my MIL as to how he is. For us, part of the problem is that she doesn't explain things to us clearly, so we don't really know what is going on in detail.

I must admit that knowing we are going away in less than a week is making this uber-stressful, because if something happens to Papa we're not sure if JM will still come with me or if he will cancel his trip and stay with his mother in Paris. As I said, stressful.

Still, that's part of lilfe. You can only plan so much then you have to pretend that you're a leaf floating on a stream and go where the waters take you.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Comments on your Comments

2007-09-10T08:40:00.000+02:00

One of the things I don't like about Blogger is that your comments (and my replies) get lost and probably unread. So, I thought I'd excerpt and answer a few of you.

Celine said:

hi, I have been looking at the pics on your website and have been trying to figure out where in chalabre you live. Do you live on the same side as madame berland, near to the bakers? Cant tell too well from the pics!!

We are just a few doors down from the bakery, which is terrible during the summer. We sleep with the windows open and around 5 am, the smell of the croissants and bread baking drives us all crazy! It explains why the dogs wake up so early I think.

AAB wrote:

Randy
With your international readership, why don't you list you silver info in a blog posting? Someone may be interested. Even If they are in the US, you could bring it to California and ship out from there.

Actually, posting it here isn't a bad idea. Anyone interested can write to me at: possumguardian-silver@yahoo.com.

I'm selling 2 sets of Oneida/Community plate that date from the late 40s or early 50s. The patterns are CORONATION and MORNING STAR. Both are services for 12 with 12 extra teaspoons and various serving pieces (details on request) and both come with wooden storage chests. The other set is ROYAL DANISH by International and is sterling. It's a luncheon service for 8 with 8 extra teaspoons, 8 butter spreaders and 2 serving spoons.

However, I would have to ship them UPS or FedEx from France, as the logistics of taking something like that to the States with us is too complicated. We obviously can't bring it as carry on, given the security climate ("Really, Officer, it's just a bunch of knives and pointy forks!") and putting it in our checked luggage strikes me as a recipe to no longer have ANY silver when we arrive.

If anyone is interested, or knows someone who is, just let me know.

As to our ongoing search for a visa for Mom --

mnemosyne asked:

Nice to know it's not just our home-grown U.S. gov offices that are sometimes inept and don't think things through.
Do you have someone on the ground in LA who could go into the consulate there on your behalf, ask questions of people there face to face?

And we ARE lucky enough to have wonderful friends in L.A. who have offered to do this for us. The new location is supposed to open today, and Diane or Evan will head over there to try to secure us an appointment while we're there. Failing that, bless their wonderful souls, they have offered to take any appointment they can get, then drive out to Hemet, pick up Mom, take her for the interview and drive her back home! I don't think we'll ever be able to thank them enough.

Finally, Lori wrote:

I'm sorry you are having all these troubles Randy. It reminds me of when I applied for my VISA - same consulate - way back 7 and a half years ago. They never answered the phone then either. I remember driving all the way to the Consulate - from San Diego to show up for an interview appt. that I was informed of via snail mail. I was never able to reach them via telephone to confirm the appt or confirm exactly where I was to go upon arrival. They just never answered the phone.

Thanks Lori. It's good to know it's not just us, I suppose. Frankly, JM and I tried to contact the U.S. Consulate in Marseille after we moved and we never received any response from them either. Do you suppose this is what they mean by "diplomatic immunity?"

Ciao for now.

Randy

How to get a visa

2007-09-08T17:27:00.000+02:00

Apparently NOT at the French Consulates located in California. I have no idea if it's any easier elsewhere, but we are feeling FRUSTRATED!

I guess we've gotten used to just going to the administrative office we need for anything here and seeing a person. We knew it would be more complicated trying to deal with an office 6000 miles away, but certainly not THIS complicated!

It all started off so well. In July, JM sent a letter to the Consulate in L.A. to get the ball rolling; Bob was still alive at that point and we thought we had a fair amount of time, so were relaxed. A week later, there was an email reply telling us all the details. "Cool," we thought, they respond to correspondence.

That was the last communication we had from the Consulate. We've sent around 6 or 7 emails with no response. We tried calling; bizarrely, the telephone number was constantly busy, no matter when we called.

Last week we decided we needed to do something; after all we want to have the interview with Mom the week that we are in L.A. She doesn't drive and lives over 100 miles from the Consulate's location, so she needs someone to take her. JM sent a telegram. It cost $128, but at least we knew it would be delivered.

What we didn't realize was that there was a fatal flaw in the plan.

Unbeknown to us, the Consulate in L.A. is moving! Now, in July, surely they must have known they were moving, no? Did it not occur to anyone during the entire month of August to let people know? Perhaps putting it on their website would have been a good idea? They did that, the day AFTER they closed the office for their move!

The fun part is that the Visa section isn't going to open along with the rest of the Consulate because it's waiting for some mysterious equipment. So, we have no idea whether they'll be open when we're in L.A. or not.

The now updated website says "emergency" long term visa applications can go through San Francisco. Okay, less convenient but possible. The joke, of course, is that San Francisco ALSO doesn't answer their email, and although you can get through on the phone after pressing various buttons on the phone, you finally get to a mailbox that is FULL and won't take any messages!

Oh yes, we're having fun.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Back into the swing

2007-09-05T13:42:00.000+02:00

Now that August is over and I'm back to being a stay-at-home writer, I feel as if I'm busier than ever.

Less than three weeks to go before our trip to L.A. to visit my mother and hopefully get things moving with her visa application at the Consulate. This would be far easier if the Consulate actually either replied to emails or had a telephone line that wasn't constantly engaged! We've been trying to set up a visa interview since mid-August and can't get any response at all.

Last week, JM decided to send a telegram. Who knew these were so darned expensive? At any rate, it was theoretically delivered yesterday and, surprise, surprise, we have still heard nothing back. Good friend Diane in L.A. has offered to go over there in person on Friday if we have no response before then.

It never occurred to me that contacting the Consulate might be the most complicated part of bringing Mom over here.

Meanwhile, I have decided that I've had it up to here with using bottled gas for cooking! First, you always run out of gas in the middle of something important, like a cake or an expensive roast; something where time and temperature make a huge difference in the final outcome. Second, the damned gas bottles are HEAVY! I tried switching to one of the new, lighter-weight bottles, but our plumber, Christian Drouin, tells me that they are not compatible with the way our gas connectors are set up. In other words, I can't use them.

When we first moved here, I had come with the idea that I would get an induction cook top. At the time, just the cook top, without an oven, would have been somewhere around 1200€. However, as with all things, prices have come down. I can now get an all-in-one cooker with four induction burners and a multi-function oven for less than 1000€. I really, really, REALLY want to do this.

JM and I are "negotiating" because he doesn't want to make any changes in the kitchen. I think the convenience and energy savings of induction, as well as having a smaller, more manageable oven, will make up for any minor complications. In order to finance the purchase, I'm trying to sell some family silver that I"ve been carting around for over 30 years. No matter where we live, it sits in a closet somewhere gathering dust, since I'm not the silver type. If I sell that and then sell my current stove, I will more than pay for the new stove.

Of course my problem with selling the silver is I have no real idea of the best way to go about it. A friend suggested talking to a local restaurant to see if they were interested in the silver. I have talked to a local chef and we'll see where that goes.

If that doesn't work, I suppose I need to go the depot-vente route or else try on eBay. The problem is that I'm selling U.S. flatware by manufacturers unknown in France. I don't know whether this makes it easier or harder to sell. I suppose it will be an interesting experiment, no matter what I decide to do.

In thinking about selling the silver, I've also been looking around on all my shelves and have realized that I have way too many tchotches! I think some of those need to go as well. Here I thought I'd gotten rid of so much stuff when we moved, yet there is still too much "stuff."

Time for a clearing out sale, that's for certain.

Ciao for now.

Randy

That time of year

2007-08-30T11:01:00.000+02:00

The muppets have all started school today. Their parents are walking around with happy smiles on their faces, although the kids were all in tears at the thought of the end of vacation. Older kids go back next week, then the parent partying truly begins.

I'm winding up my month at the library, and it was clear this week that the kids were desperate to get in as much last minute fun as possible. They were far more rambunctious than usual, and I had to tell several of them to calm down, which I normally don't have to do.

Although there are still a few summer people around, we noticed last night that there was very little noise in the street. Our good friends who have holiday homes are all gone now, which is very sad, because we'd like them to stay all year round.

On the positive side for us, that means M. B, whose house we're trying to buy for Mom, is due back from his vacation, so we can hopefully get that straightened out soon as well.

The weather is continuing its indecision; going from massively hot earlier this week back to cloudy/rainy/cool today. None of us know where we stand from one day to the next.

I guess even Mother Nature is having mixed feelings at this time of year.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Where did that come from?

2007-08-28T10:53:00.000+02:00

I just re-read my last post and, damn, but it sounded bleak! Not at all typical of me on most days. I suppose I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with all that remains to be accomplished to bring Mom over here to live.

And yet, it is actually going quite well so far. Most of the paperwork is coming together, although we're still waiting to hear back from the French consulate in L.A. about getting an appointment when we're there. August reigns, even when it's August in L.A.

Mom was heading over to the local police station yesterday to get a paper stating she has no criminal record and we've spoken to her financial adviser to get copies of her financial records so she can prove she won't be a burden on society.

We still haven't entirely sorted out the health insurance issue. Mom needs to check with her HMO to see if it has any provision for foreign travel; if it does, that would certainly be the easiest and least expensive option. Otherwise, we'll need to get a high-priced travel insurance policy to cover her until she's eligible for the French CPAM.

August is also interfering with us finding out if we can buy her the house we want for her. The owner is off on holiday, and we're hoping he'll be back this week so that we can commence negotiations.

I know I'll feel more upbeat once everything is moving ahead and I can know for certain that Mom will be here soon.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Summer Wind Down

2007-08-24T10:19:00.000+02:00

More than any previous year since we've been in the Possum Kingdom, there is a real feel of the end of summer in the air.

True, we've had a weirdly cool summer anyway, with only a few hot days sprinkled in amongst the cool and rainy ones, but beyond that, something different seems to be in the air. Perhaps it's the fact that days are already getting shorter and that mornings and nights are now really on the cool side. Perhaps it's the fact that the kids around the village are getting that restless thing that happens to them when they know that school is just around the corner.

Certainly the adults are eager for school to start (at least THIS adult is!). I'm getting ready to start my last week at the library and suddenly they're back to coming in all day and getting really rambunctious and rowdy, treating the place like it's their living room and not a library. I'm never quite sure how much of a disciplinarian I'm supposed to be and try to temper letting them have fun with how annoying they are being.

I feel time slipping away from all of us today. I don't know why, perhaps it's all that I feel the need to accomplish mixed in with the pain of my sciatica. All I know is that it leaves me feeling melancholy...

Ciao for now.

Randy

Possum sur l'Hers

2007-08-21T15:22:00.000+02:00

We now have our very own, virtual, Possum Kingdom! If you click on the link and give us more inhabitants, eventually we'll be able to build up commerce and industry. It's free and fun!

Ciao for now.

Randy

Moving Mom

2007-08-21T10:30:00.000+02:00

Now that things are settling down after my stepfather's death, we're really getting started on the process of moving Mom here to France.

For me, this is interesting in lots of ways: first, I'm reconnecting with her in a way I haven't done for years. It gives us whole new topics of conversation to explore.

Second, when JM and I moved, it was relatively simple, at least from the standpoint of paperwork. No visas necessary, as we are both dual nationals. This is not the case for Mom, so I'm having to discover how a non-EU citizen gets to move to France. The information will be invaluable when others ask us this same question.

Another thing that is fascinating is that I have come to regard the Possum Kingdom as home. Much of what was new and strange when we moved is now just familiar and normal. In order to present it to Mom, I've had to start looking at everything with new eyes once again. This makes everything seem fresh and wonderful for me as well as for her.

For example, we've started using our video camera to document the village and the events of the summer, so that we can take it to show Mom and her friends when we're back in L.A. I look at everything and wonder how it will be perceived by them.

Yesterday was our local Vide Grenier, a village-wide yard sale. People started setting up tables at 6 am, which is astonishing for around here. I noticed that a yard sale is a yard sale, whether it's in L.A. or Chalabre. Everyone has their junk spread out and others come and buy it, then show up the following year to sell it back to someone else!

I think there's this hope against hope that you are going to discover a long lost Rembrandt or something that has been hidden in a closet and unrecognized by its owner. I don't think it ever happens, but hope costs nothing.

I can't wait to show all of this to Mom; I feel excited like a kid at Christmas.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Mnemosyne asked; I answer

2007-08-18T08:41:00.000+02:00

Mnemosyne asked:

Tell us more about the ins and outs of the health insurance issue. You have to have coverage until you can get French coverage? How long will your mother have to wait until she can be on the French insurance program? Can she get coverage even if not a French citizen?

This all has to do with the visa process. For a non-EU citizen to get a long stay visa to live in France, there are a fair amount of hurdles to be jumped. One of them is health insurance. You need to show that you have health insurance that will cover 30,000€ of expenses, including repatriation costs if you get really sick.

Now, in Mom's case, she won't be needing repatriation (anymore than WE would), because she's moving her permanently. Since most regular U.S. insurance policies are not really set up for paying costs in foreign countries, you need to find one that will.

None of this is a problem for a relatively young person, but most of the policies we found are not available to be sold to anyone over the age of 75. I understand, because most people over that age do have some type of health issue. But, it was a real stumbling block for us. We were worried that the whole thing would be derailed if we couldn't resolve this one issue.

Once you have been resident in France for 3 months, however, you are eligible, indeed HAVE TO, register with the French health system (Securité Sociale), It is also called CPAM (Caisse Primaire de Assurance Maladie). The feels one pays for that are calculated on 8% of one's income. There is a bottom amount, below which you get coverage for free.

So, Mom will be covered by the French system after 3 months residence, which will be far less expensive, in her case, than anything she could get in the U.S.

I'll go over the other things one has to do to get a visa in later entries.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Thanks again

2007-08-17T09:53:00.000+02:00

I really appreciate the support and sympathy that you have all been sending our way.

nemosyne said...

Much sympathy, and many hugs to you and the denizens of Possumworld. A lot of us are dealing with aging parents, and one of the unexpected blessings is that the internet so greatly expands our communications.

What a grand adventure for your mother. I bet she'll flower and expand happily in a new place. And the challenges of all the newness is probably the best thing for her heart and mind just now.

I agree that moving is really going to help her. Having to relearn French, meet new people, learn how things work in a new country, etc., are going to be an amazing experience for her. She's never left the U.S., except for a brief trip to Canada, so I'm excited for her!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, Randy. Are you an only child? Seems that I remember that. I believe she'll thrive being in a wholly new environment.

Hugs,

Pat

Thanks, Pat. I have a sister, but she lives on the other side of the country from Mom and isn't in great health herself, so really can't be any help, I'm afraid.

CMC said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Bob, Randy. I've been watching the sad process through the blog. As said by others, it will be good for her to get there and have a new phase of her life and with you there.

Cheryl

Thanks, Cheryl. I think we're all looking forward to this. I had really worried that I wouldn't get to see her again, because we had no plans to visit L.A., so this will be exciting for me as well.

We've started the visa process and have found a couple of things out. One of the most complicated bits to get was health insurance! You need to have a private insurance policy when you move to cover you until you are eligible for French Social Security. Well, that's fine if you're young, but an 83-year-old is another story! We almost thought we would be derailed before we even got started.

Luckily, we found a travel policy that seems pretty comprehensive, and doesn't have an age limit. It's not cheap, but since we don't need it for more than a few months, it's okay.

Ciao for now.

Randy

The Battle is Over

2007-08-15T12:07:00.000+02:00

My stepfather, Bob, passed away yesterday afternoon after his brief but valiant battle with liver cancer.

Despite the anxious moments caused by shipping him out of the hospital to the hospice, in the end that turned out to have been a far easier experience for my mother. Strangely, after the major hoo-ha of demanding a $6000 cash deposit, they wound up taking no money in advance; probably because they realized that he was only going to be there for a very short time.

I'm very proud of my mother, who is dealing with this better than I would do in similar circumstances. She's also really looking forward to seeing us in September and moving here once we get things straightened out with visas, living accommodation, selling her house, etc. I think knowing that she's going to have "an adventure" is very helpful in this new chapter of her life.

I wish that I could have been there for Mom during all of this, but distance made that impossible. I do have to say that it is the only time since we moved that I felt handicapped being so far away. It is certainly something that needs to be thought about when moving from one country to another. We moved secure in the knowledge that Mom had Bob there to look after her. After all, he was about 13 years younger than she, so it seemed logical to imagine that she would pass away first. Clearly, the Universe had other plans.

This will be a good opportunity for us to rediscover each other, and for her to experience life in another country; something she has never done before.

Over the next few months, I expect to write more about the challenges of bringing an elderly parent to a distant land. I imagine we're all going to learn a lot in the process.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Die Faster, You Slacker!

2007-08-12T09:01:00.000+02:00

Since my post of the other day, things with Bob have devolved.

His health deteriorated to the point where my mother had to call the paramedics (against his wishes, but she had no choice). Bob was taken to the local hospital. In the emergency room they hooked him up to an IV and catheterized him; a painful experience made worse by the fact that he had prostate surgery a few years ago and has a lot of scar tissue from that.

The cancer has now affected his mental state to the point that he's really incapable of understanding what is going on around him, can't eat, can't stand, etc. He is unable to be cared for at home by an 83-year-old woman, and needs hospitalization/hospice care.

Fine, we knew that. So, after a couple of days in the hospital they decided to transfer him out to a hospice and discontinue all treatment except for pain meds. This is where things get really "fun."

First, the catheter has caused a urinary tract infection. No more antibiotics, which makes sense given his condition. No more IV, which makes sense. No treatment for high blood pressure brought on by all the stress; again, this makes sense.

The hospital decided his condition isn't "bad enough" to warrant remaining in the hospital. Fine, except the hospice care is NOT covered by medicare/insurance. The transfer was taking place on the weekend, and the hospice is UNABLE to check my mother's credit on the weekend. Excuse me? I could buy a car on the weekend if I wanted to, but I can't put someone in a hospice? They wanted a CASH deposit of $6,000 to take Bob. If Mom couldn't come up with it, they were going to just send him home!!!!

This is a system that overflows with horror and cruelty. My 83-year-old mother is struggling with the impending loss of her husband, selling her home and possessions, a move to another country, her own health issues, and they reduced her to tears because they needed an effing deposit to take her dying husband!!!

It's probably a good thing I'm not there at the moment, because as mild a person as I am, I think I might have slapped someone. What is wrong with those people? Our dog was treated better than this when he was dying! It is monstrous and beyond belief.

The only "silver lining" is that the whole business has at last convinced Mom that she WILL come to France to live. Whether it is because the whole system sickens her, or because she realizes that she needs to be with family, I don't know. But I suppose I will hold onto this one, small, positive shred of news, as it's the only "good" I can see in the situation at the moment.

I know Bob would not have been treated this way in France. I don't even know how to explain it to my friends here, because they will think I've made it all up.

Ciao for now.

Randy

A Rant

2007-08-08T17:22:00.000+02:00

I haven't posted an update about Bob recently. Things are, unsurprisingly, not good. The biopsy did show liver cancer and, worse, it is very widespread. He visited an oncologist who said 4 to 6 months, and, frankly, I find 4 months a stretch from what my mother has been telling me.

He is really fading quickly, but the oncologist suggested he try chemotherapy, because it might make him feel a bit better and could, perhaps, extend his life a bit. Bob is not wild about it, but decided he would give it a try.

Flash forward to today. After more than a week waiting for the prescription to be sure it would be paid for by insurance, Mom took a cab to the other side of town to pick the prescription up and take it to the pharmacy (back on their side of town). Shortly after she returned home, she gets a call from the pharmacist: THE INSURANCE HAS DECLINED TO PAY FOR THE PRESCRIPTION!!!

The man is dying from cancer and they won't pay for his chemo??? What is wrong with them? I know they figure it's cheaper to let him die, but it's monstrous. I can't imagine that ever happening here in France, no matter what warts exist on the system.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Library Month

2007-08-08T14:07:00.000+02:00

Yesterday was the beginning of my second annual stint as substitute librarian. I did assume that we would be busy, both because it was Tuesday and because it was raining.

Tuesday is always a busy day, since the library has been closed for 3 days and everyone is desperate to check their email. The rain, of course, forces people to try to find SOMETHING to do that is not an outdoor activity.

Even with those factors, however, I was quite surprised to see how busy we actually were; I'm guessing that we had over 50 visitors during the day. And, not all of them were there for the internet. We have an exposition on bagpipes, so people have come to see that as well as to look at the books and various paintings that are on display. It made for a lively first day.

Besides the locals, there were also a large contingent of tourists, and amongst those were many whose faces I recognized from last year. So, it was a bit like old home week.

The rain has stopped for now, so I'll be curious to see if we retain our popularity this afternoon. If you are in the Possum Kingdom between now and the end of the month, do drop in to check out the library and say hello.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Gadget update

2007-08-06T11:19:00.000+02:00

I was very impressed with the service I received from Cath Boutique where I ordered my cool garlic grater saucer. I ordered on Thursday and received it on Saturday! Needless to say, we had lots of dishes with freshly grated garlic for dinner Saturday night.

The saucer was simple to use, made a really finely grated garlic puree/paste that blended well into salad dressing and into butter, etc. for garlic bread. It was definitely worth the price, and although I ordered four of them, I immediately wound up selling three to friends!

It's a perfect hostess gift if you're looking for something unique and useful to give instead of the traditional candy/flowers/ etc.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Gadgets and such

2007-08-01T15:06:00.000+02:00

I found out yesterday why I must never go to any of the big weekly markets like Mirepoix, Limoux or Lavelenet.

Our neighbor, Hélène from Perpignan is here this week on vacation and she went to the one in Mirepoix with her cousin Monique on Monday. She found the coolest gadgets. The one I want (and finally had to track down online because I'm too impatient to wait for next Monday) is a little ceramic saucer with sharp ridges in the bottom. You put a tiny bit of water in it, then rub a garlic clove (works with shallots, almonds, nutmeg, ginger also) and it makes perfect garlic paste. So much easier to use than a garlic press (at least the ones I've tried) and much finer than you can chop with a knife.

She also bought one of those rubber things that you use to peel garlic, but those I've seen before.

The garlic saucer is just too, too cool though. The ones I found online were actually less expensive. I'm not going to put a link up until I get them though, just to make sure that they're nice and also that the service from the place I ordered is good.

I just love all the gadget tables you find at markets. It's like being in a giant infomercial. The sad thing is that most of the things don't really work all that well once you get them home; but they always LOOK as if they are the thing you've been waiting for your whole life.

I'm probably the perfect patsy for that kind of stuff, but I'm saved by the guilt of spending money in general, and the knowledge of how many gadgets I've bought over the years that have just not lived up to their reputation (what was I thinking when I bought the "egg wave" for the microwave),

Still, it is fun to look. Perhaps I can go to Lavelenet on Friday if I leave my wallet at home.

Ciao for now.

Randy

Tourists, dogs and weather

2007-07-26T17:41:00.000+02:00

Tourist season seems to be officially upon us. Once again, lots of cars from "not around here" are popping up all over the place. You can also often spot the confused looks of people trying to figure out in which direction they should be going, or else you see the same car circling the village several times, "just to be sure."

Also, lots of new faces out walking around. I did have a negative tourist encounter earlier in the week while I was out walking the Horde. A group of tourists was coming towards us on the garden path. They had an Alsatian or German Shepherd bitch with them and she was not on a lead. She ran towards us not looking like she wanted to play and, of course, Shmoo and Maggie got a bit wild. She realized that she was outnumbered and swerved off the path, down towards the river.

Unfortunately, I had the dogs' leads clipped together and Shmoo started dragging Maggie down the embankment in hot pursuit. I lunged grabbed the lead as hard as I could and stopped him, but in the process twisted my ankle. By the evening I was unable to walk. Luckily, an ankle brace, arnica and ice seem to have gotten it under control. Too bad the Alsatian wasn't under control on the pathway!

That incident has made me realize that I can't take both dogs together when I'm out on my own. So, since then, for our afternoon walk when JM usually doesn't accompany us, I take Shmoo out first, then bring him home and take Maggie. It does take twice as long, but this way I'm less likely to fall and break something.

And, the weather is cooperating in making it pleasant to go out for prolonged walking. We've had sunshine and warm temperatures for 2 days in a row. I think we could almost call it a "streak."

Here's hoping that the weather where you are is just as nice, and that all of you U.K. Possumworld readers stay above water!

Ciao for now.

Randy

Such a Tease!

2007-07-21T16:42:00.000+02:00

After a brief fling with "summer" weather, our bizarre, early-autumn (or perhaps it's late winter) has returned. We're all bundling up in sweaters and rain gear yet again, and now the mighty oracle, Meteo France, is pushing off the return of warm weather by at least another week.

As I've said before, I don't really mind not having super hot weather, as that's not something I've ever particularly enjoyed. However, it's not nice for the other 99.9% of the population who actually like it. And, let's not even talk about the poor tourists who are wandering around looking miserable.

I do feel particularly sorry for all the villages which are having their typical summer events, street markets, food fairs, etc. It is hard to get a crowd to wander around looking at stalls when the rain is pouring down on them. In fact, our village market was rained out this morning. It started out okay, but about an hour before it was scheduled to end, the rain just bucketed down. It was a shame, too, because we had several new vendors, including a primeur and a shoe stall, and I would like them to keep coming back. Hard to get a good idea of how much business they can do when they needed water wings to stay open.

It was, though, the perfect day to stay inside and read. Our copy of the new Harry Potter arrived this morning and JM has already finished it! I'm going to start next, so another day of rain tomorrow should keep me in reading as well.

Ciao for now and enjoy YOUR summer if you're having one.

Randy

Thank you for your prayers and good wishes

2007-07-19T14:33:00.000+02:00

We finally heard back from the results of my stepfather's biopsy. It's not good news, I'm afraid. We now have confirmation that he does have liver cancer.

Bob has decided not to undertake any treatment, as we feel that his cancer is already very advanced and he would rather not spend his last days going through painful and pointless treatment. We are all respecting his wishes and just praying that he can remain as painfree and comfortable as possible.

Now, the planning for my mother will go ahead in earnest. JM and I are still hoping that she will agree to come and live here near us. We've even found the perfect house for her and are even wishing we could afford to buy it on our own, because it is so "right" for our needs. It could actually be turned into 4 apartments, one that Mom could live in and 3 that could be rented out either on a longterm basis or as gites to give her an extra income.

Unfortunately, we aren't sure that we can manage that on our own, but we're still looking into it.

It does seem a bit ghoulish to be talking about all of this while Bob is still with us, but I don't suppose that there is much choice. Life will have to go on, and it is better to be prepared for what is next.

I do feel helpless being this far away; but I understand that even if I was still in L.A. I wouldn't be able to do all that much more than what I am doing now.

Sometimes life is a bitch.

Ciao for now.

Randy

I Officially Hate

2007-07-15T11:17:00.000+02:00

Fireworks, firecrackers and any other noisy thing that goes Snap, Crackle or Pop in the night!

We now seem to have TWO dogs who are afraid of the sounds of celebration. Thank goodness for Xanax or we wouldn't have gotten any sleep last night at all.

When we took our walk during the afternoon (close to 3 pm), I mentioned to JM that I thought the village seemed unnaturally quiet for a July 14th afternoon. I saw the error of my ways when we went back out around 8. Everyone had clearly been resting up so that they could party till they dropped. The Cafe de la Paix was already anything but peaceful.

Still, we thought we'd make it through the night, after all, we had given Maggie a Xanax at dinner and Shmoo is always cool about things. We watched television and Maggie never reacted to the distant sounds of firecrackers.

We turned in around 11 and at 11:30 an agitated Shmoo woke us out of the first stages of deep sleep. He was whimpering and scratching at the door. Although it's unusual for him, we thought he needed to go out again, so we got up, got the dogs ready and walked through the gardens in the dark.

That, at least, was relatively enjoyable, as the sky was crystal clear and we felt as if we could touch the stars, they were so brilliant. The Milky Way was easily visible and the constellations were all laid out like a map. Beautiful.

Shmoo did not seem particularly "needy" in the potty department though. In fact, he seemed just as eager to return home as he had been to go out in the first place. When we got back, locked up the house again and went back to our room, the pacing and whining continued, so I decided to give him a Xanax as well.

And, it wasn't any too soon, as five minutes later, there was a huge fireworks display sent up nearby (not sure where) and both dogs really started to be terrified. We finally decided that even though it would be warm in our room, the only thing to do was close the windows, shutters and door into the hallway so that all was dark and as quiet as possible. At last, everyone calmed down and went to sleep.

We're safe for another year.

Ciao for now.

Randy