Assumptions
I wrote about inviting our immediate neighbors for a potluck gathering here at Possum Central. It seemed like the perfect way for the neighbors to get together and shmooze. JM agreed with me and we started inviting.
What I didn't realize was that although this type of gathering is the most natural thing in the world for Americans, and is seen as a casual way of folks getting together without anyone having too much hassle, it is NOT a natural thing for the French.
Mr. Possum admits that he did not have his "French head" on when he agreed to this, or he might have explained the problems to me. The French do not invite outsiders into their homes as easily as Americans. "Casual" entertaining is a concept which they, especially older people, do not truly understand. Indeed, instead of creating a realaxed, informal gathering, I may actually be stressing them all out!
I feel quite bad about this, because it was not at all my intention. I've had two couples back out, both with excellent reasons, but JM is not convinced that at least one of them wasn't just so concerned about what they would bring that they just decided not to come at all! I do hope that is not the case and he is overreacting.
I had to tell our baker and his wife that really, if they only want to come for 20 minutes just to have a drink and say hello that it is perfectly okay! There isn't really any obligation to bring something beyond themselves. I know this is their busy season, and sleep is at a premium.
Hopefully, all will turn out okay and those of us who do appear will have a good time. But it is an object lesson in never assuming that because something is acceptable in one culture, that the same is true of another!
I guess we'll find out tomorrow!
Ciao for now.
Randy
What I didn't realize was that although this type of gathering is the most natural thing in the world for Americans, and is seen as a casual way of folks getting together without anyone having too much hassle, it is NOT a natural thing for the French.
Mr. Possum admits that he did not have his "French head" on when he agreed to this, or he might have explained the problems to me. The French do not invite outsiders into their homes as easily as Americans. "Casual" entertaining is a concept which they, especially older people, do not truly understand. Indeed, instead of creating a realaxed, informal gathering, I may actually be stressing them all out!
I feel quite bad about this, because it was not at all my intention. I've had two couples back out, both with excellent reasons, but JM is not convinced that at least one of them wasn't just so concerned about what they would bring that they just decided not to come at all! I do hope that is not the case and he is overreacting.
I had to tell our baker and his wife that really, if they only want to come for 20 minutes just to have a drink and say hello that it is perfectly okay! There isn't really any obligation to bring something beyond themselves. I know this is their busy season, and sleep is at a premium.
Hopefully, all will turn out okay and those of us who do appear will have a good time. But it is an object lesson in never assuming that because something is acceptable in one culture, that the same is true of another!
I guess we'll find out tomorrow!
Ciao for now.
Randy
Labels: Christmas, cultural differences, entertaining, holiday parties, neighbors, potlucks
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